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Planning a wedding is a joyful and stressful time, to say the least. Whether you’re planning a small, intimate wedding or something more extravagant, chances are you and your partner want everything to be a certain way that you like.

Bride and groom holding hands by the sea, the bride's dress has lace detailsBride and groom holding hands by the sea, the bride's dress has lace details

Manu Vega / Getty Images

Well, it doesn’t help when you have a father-in-law who wants to push boundaries and doesn’t know his place in wedding planning. This Redditor shared his situation on the r/JUSTNOMIL subreddit, and after reading his story, my jaw drops.

“My mother-in-law is the type of person who loves attention, good or bad, and can’t stand when someone else is in the spotlight. Considering I was the BRIDE on my wedding day, who would have thought my partner and I could be the center of attention? (Cue sarcasm).

Before last weekend my mother-in-law wanted to wear a very light beige/white lace dress to the wedding – which my husband refused. This was a HUGE deal – she said she didn’t want to come to our wedding and I was “not a good start to an in-law relationship”, mind you I have been with her son for eight years so our relationship has already started. She also said my husband shouldn’t marry me lol,” the OP wrote.

Note: Parts of this post have been edited for length and/or clarity.

“Fast forward to the rehearsal dinner. My mother-in-law and father-in-law (who is actually a saint) paid for the rehearsal dinner. She told everyone and her mother that she paid $1,200 for the rehearsal dinner after turning down several restaurants and settling on the cheapest option that was the farthest from where we were staying. She said it several times in her speech. My parents generously offered to pay for my now-husband and I’s wedding, but they never talked about it or bragged about it,” the OP wrote.

Elegant table decoration for an event with floral and butterfly decorationsElegant table decoration for an event with floral and butterfly decorations

It gets worse! “On to the wedding day. She walked into my bridal suite while I was in my dress, to which I said ‘hi!’ with a huge grin on my face – she looked me in the eye and walked right past me. The whole time she didn’t compliment me, but she complimented all of my bridesmaids. She ruined her and my husband’s first look because ‘she didn’t want to wait for a photographer’ and then complained that they didn’t have any photos of the two of them even though I had arranged the first look for her,” the OP wrote.

“She complained about the time for the family photo and said she wanted to come to the cocktail reception because ‘there were people there who wanted to talk to her,’ to which I told her she was welcome and we were right on schedule. She sat alone in the lawn chair sulking with her arms crossed. At the beginning of the ceremony, she thanked my husband’s side for supporting my husband as ‘his side was light’ for forcing us to invite distant relatives and 30+ hadn’t shown up. She spoke extremely loudly during all the speeches and complained when my dad ‘took too long,'” the OP wrote.

The OP continued, “The next morning my mom and dad hosted a brunch and invited us all to breakfast before people left. My mother-in-law came and complained about the DJ and photographer for over 30 minutes to anyone who would listen. She then complained that my mom had said brunch started at noon but didn’t start until 11am (it was always 11am). She snapped at my mom because ‘there wasn’t enough food for her family’ while my mom was struggling at the stove. My husband had told her to stop four times until she said ‘Bad news, no more food!’ as new guests arrived (there was an island full of food). I quickly turned around and said ‘Enough please’ while my mom was close to tears. My husband said ‘Mom, you’re being abusive’ while whispering in her ear, away from everyone else.'”

After describing a few more incidents that happened that weekend, OP concluded by asking for advice: “How do I deal with this??? I don’t want a relationship with her, but the rest of the family is normal and I love them more than anything. My wedding memories are tarnished. I’m trying to stay positive, but it’s hard. Aside from all of the above, we had a wonderful weekend.”

Phew, that was a blast! Over 50 commenters chimed in, offering advice and commiserating for this new bride.

Reddit comment offers another user emotional support and advice on family issues and maintaining a healthy relationship with spouseReddit comment offers another user emotional support and advice on family issues and maintaining a healthy relationship with spouse

This commenter also gave some good advice.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment with advice on how to handle a situation with humor and how to set boundariesScreenshot of a Reddit comment with advice on how to handle a situation humorously and set boundaries

This commenter raised many valid points in his advice.

The image shows a long text commentary giving advice on how to deal with a difficult problem in the family relationshipThe picture shows a long text comment with advice on how to deal with a difficult problem in the family relationship

What do you think? Why do you think the mother-in-law is behaving this way? Is there a right or wrong way to handle this situation? How do you start setting boundaries here? Share all your thoughts with me in the comments below!

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